S3 Episode 2C

Keep Away

Welcome to Trainwrecks: Season 3 (2006-2007)! If you haven’t read Season 1 and 2, please start from the beginning! Trainwrecks is a free-to-read fiction serial that follows a group of six Seattle-adjacent friends from the year 2004 to the year 2015. Join Luna Cruz, Sebastian Velasquez, Dimitri and Victoria Hale, Duke Kingston, and Jasmine Nolan as they stumble their way from adolescence to adulthood, falling in love, making mistakes, overcoming their pasts, and staying together through it all.

For series introduction, character profiles, relationship charts, and general orientation, check out the Table of Contents!

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AOL Chat Room—Scotty Doesn’t Know
August 3, 2006

Seblasquez: How was your meeting with the student ambassador?

Dimwit_Genius: Oh, fine.

Dimwit_Genius: Turns out she might be my future wife, but other than that, pretty normal.

Seblasquez: Your future WHAT????

Sir Duke: Whoa

Dimwit_Genius: I took one look at her and suddenly monogamy made all the sense in the world

Sir Duke: Damn! What does she look like?

Dimwit_Genius: A red-haired, blue-eyed Natalie Portman

Sir Duke: Bullshit

Dimwit_Genius: Tall, sexy, smart, funny…

Seblasquez: And does she feel the same way about potentially marrying you?

Dimwit_Genius: She gave me her phone number.

Sir Duke: Yoooooooooooo

Seblasquez: Congrats

Dimwit_Genius: Thank you.

Dimwit_Genius: I’ll be archiving this conversation for our wedding video

Dimwit_Genius: so try not to say anything too incriminating.

~*~

Sir Duke: Don’t freak out but your brother met a girl and it sounds serious

Victoria: WHAT

Victoria: WHO

Victoria: WHEN

Victoria: HOW

Sir Duke: Her name is Parker, she’s 24, and she’s a grad student. That’s all I know.

Victoria: I CAN’T FEEL MY FACE

~*~

Seblasquez: Dimitri met a girl

Smooth Jazz: He meets lots of girls

Seblasquez: I think he’s in love

Smooth Jazz: Alright I’m listening.

~*~

Victoria: DIMITRI MET A GIRL

Smooth Jazz: I heard from Seb. Have you told Luna yet?

Victoria: I haven’t! In all the excitement, it totally slipped my mind!

Smooth Jazz: You can’t

Victoria: Can’t what?

Smooth Jazz: Tell Luna

Victoria: Why not? I’m surprised she didn’t break the news to us first!

Smooth Jazz: Because she has a crush on Dimitri

Victoria: No she doesn’t!

Smooth Jazz: Yeah she does

Victoria: Are you serious?

Smooth Jazz: Yes

Victoria: Oh

Victoria: Oh dear

Smooth Jazz: Yeah…

~*~

Victoria: DO NOT TELL LUNA ABOUT DIMITRI’S GIRL

Sir Duke: Why the fuck not??? Luna lives for this shit

Victoria: Because she likes him

Sir Duke: No she doesn’t

Victoria: Jasmine says she does

~*~

Sir Duke: Luna likes Dimitri???

Smooth Jazz: Uuuuugh she’s going to kill me for blabbing…

Sir Duke: She told you this herself?

Smooth Jazz: Would I make something like that up?

~*~

Sir Duke: Fuck

Victoria: You took the word right out of my mouth…

~*~

Sir Duke: Did you tell Luna about Dimitri’s future wife

Seblasquez: Not yet. She’s still out walking Precious.

Sir Duke: Good. Don’t.

Seblasquez: Why…?

Sir Duke: Because she likes him

Seblasquez: Good one

Sir Duke: I’m serious. Victoria and Jasmine said so.

Seblasquez: …

~*~

AOL Chat Room—My Favorite Animal is Poopies
August 3, 2006

Moona: K I’m back!

Moona: You guys didn’t have to stop talking just because I was out lol

Sir Duke: I was helping Mom bring the curtains down

Moona: Did she buy new ones again??

Smooth Jazz: I’m trying to figure out how to pay for my classes.

Smooth Jazz: This website isn’t very intuitive.

Dimwit_Genius: Hey Moon, you’re never going to guess what happened today

Moona and Seblasquez are offline

Dimwit_Genius: Did they just log out?

~*~

Text Conversation Between Sebastian Velasquez and Jasmine Nolan

Sebastian: I panicked

Jazz: What happened?

Sebastian: I reset the router

Jazz: LOL

Sebastian: I don’t know how long we can hide this from her

Jazz: Wait who told you about Luna’s crush?

Sebastian: Duke

Jazz: Oh great…

~*~

AOL Chat Room—My Favorite Animal is Poopies

Smooth Jazz: What happened today?

Dimwit_Genius: I beat my record for longest belch!

Victoria: Eww…

Dimwit_Genius: Luna thinks she can out-belch me. I need to lord it over her

Smooth Jazz: Of course you do

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Author’s Note: This is one of my favorite episodes of the entire season.

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